I never planned on being a house wife. But when I got laid off four days before my wedding I seemed to accidentally fall into this position.
Logan and my normal distribution of chores completely shifted when I had an extra 45 hours a week of time to spare. To be fair I do spend a number of hours a week looking for jobs, working on my book and social networking (it is the thing journalists are supposed to do these days.) But never the less, the duties of cooking, cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping now fell on me while Logan went to work each day to “bring home the bacon.”
In truth I am the one who literally brings home the bacon when I go to the grocery store each week, Aldi’s Fit and Active turkey bacon to be specific. The switch to turkey bacon was among the many disputes Logan and I have had as I took on the role of sole grocery shopper. We’ve also had arguments over milk, bread, orange juice and eggs. Fortunately, I think we’ve finally started to iron these things out.
But one thing I haven’t come to grips with is the idea of me as a stay-at-home wife. I know, I know, I’m on unemployment and am looking for a job. I realize I’m working on a book that someday could inspire hundreds, or more likely tens, of people. But in this bleak economy, I can’t help but think, what if this is it? What if my life from here on out is house work and children with a little bit of freelance on the side. It seems the way it goes for so many couples, but I hate fitting into the normal gender stereotypes. And I always thought that Logan and I broke that mold. He knows how to cook and I can bate my own line. And we all know who would win if Logan and I got in a hot dog eating contest. Yet here we are, Logan the provider and me the semi-domesticated wife.
When people ask me how married life is going I always say “Great!” Because it is. I love my husband more than I ever imagined loving anyone. But somedays I don’t feel great and I want to tell people married life is kind of like a starting a new job- even if you like it you really don’t know what the heck you are doing for the first couple of months.
Yesterday at church the woman who gave the sermon asked us to picture the Kingdom of Heaven. What did we think it looked like?
My mind instantly thought of my wedding day. All the people I love gathered together celebrating at our feast. Family members who hadn’t spoken in more than 20 years laughing and smiling together. Arguments of the past disappeared. That day I thought to myself, this is what heaven will be like. Laughter, food, beer, blue grass, God and all the people you love. This is heaven.
I was really surprised when Heather didn’t say the Kingdom of Heaven is like a wedding feast instead reread that mornings scripture.
“The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field.” (Matthew 13:31)
She went on to verse 33, “He told them still another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about sixty pounds of flour until it worked all through the dough.’”
The Kingdom of God is like planting a garden and cooking dinner?
Apparently, according to Jesus it is. The Kingdom of God isn’t just the big celebrations and accomplishments it’s what we do everyday.
I may feel like my life as a sudo-housewife is meaningless and unfulfilling, but the truth is this is where I am right now. And when I can learn to rejoice in that, I think I will start to see the Kingdom of God as I cook dinner and Logan waters the garden.
When I look back at our amazing wedding, I realize we were celebrating so much more than just our wedding day. We were celebrating the good and the bad. In that time of feast we were acknowledging that we’d support each other through the times of famine.
Maybe next time someone asks me how married life is going I’ll say it’s kind of like watering the plants and cooking dinner, but then getting to eat the meal with the person in world who means more to you than anyone.
