Living a good story

I had lunch with my grandma and grandpa last Friday. One of the things I like best about spending time with my grandparents is the stories my grandpa tells. My grandpa likes to tell some doozies, some are true, some are completely fiction.

On Friday Grandpa told me about his childhood visits to his grandfathers. Apparently my great-great-grandfather lived next to a black night club called the Sugary Peach. My grandpa said wild things happened at the Sugery Peach- bar fights, stabbings, all the typical riffraff you’d expect from an establishment in Missouri.*

If my great-great-grandfather had lived in an uneventful cul-de-sac, I doubt my grandpa would have as interesting stories about his childhood. Everyone knows it’s the turmoil and trials that make a story worth retelling.

In Donald Miller’s latest book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, he challenges his readers to view their lives as a story. He challenges us to live a good story. Miller said good stories start with inciting incidents that propel you forward. Losing my job and getting married are probably the biggest inciting incidents of my life thus far.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the kind of story I’m living lately. I’m in a transition career wise, and in my first months of marriage, so it’s a good time for self evaluation. I know what kind of story I lived during my childhood, adolescents and early 20s, but what will my story be as I enter this new face of adulthood? What will my story be now that I actually feel like an adult? What will the conflicts, rising action and plot include?

My past has never lacked drama. And in the absence of conflict, I have to admit, I have a knack for creating tension myself. I know what you are thinking, Arley dramatic? Never! It’s true, it’s true, at times I’ve been known to be a drama mama. I can’t help but wonder, if writers in general sabotage themselves for the sake of a good story.

I’ve decided that I want my story to be more than drama, for dramas sake. Bart Campolo once told me the best way to get out of a complacent slump is to look around at the things in society that really piss you off, like perhaps the state closing Lawrence’s SRS building. Take on those battles, Campolo said, and you’ll have a fulfilling life. Take on those battles and you’ll create a great story.

As a married couple, I feel like Logan and I are living a great story so far. He balances out my social activism with fun projects like pimping out our bikes (they are retro Schwinns) or brewing some tasty beer. Someday we hope our story will include some baby Arkenbergs. And my dream is that years from now our children will ride their own shiny Schwinns with a heart of compassion that naturally advocates for the underdog.


*While I and some of my family members have lived in Missouri at some point in time, I would like to state that my blood line is Kansan through and through. I bleed crimson and blue.